then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
