they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
