im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
