It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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