Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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