You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
