I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
