oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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