i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
