Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
