Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
