some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
