I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
