Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
