I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
