ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
