I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
