dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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