After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
