i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
