Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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