butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
