Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
