Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
