my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
