the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
