I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
