You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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