it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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