how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize