just tell him i said nine months
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
