im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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