cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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