I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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