I'm really into asian looking animals
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We are all done wearing pants today
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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