Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
