hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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