xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
