so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Still dying that you shit outside
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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