girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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