I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
