this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
