Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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