you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
