we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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