the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can you bring me the toilet please
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
