mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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