NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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