Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize