I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
