I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
