If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
