Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
