Your favorite bartender is back from prision
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
