I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
