even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
