so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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