Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
