Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have fence marks all over my body
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
