If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we should paint friendship bongs
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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