I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
