i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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