I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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