You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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