I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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