I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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